It was as if I had outgrown a good pair of trousers, my favorite pair of trousers, and I had no others to put on.
Henry Louis Gates, Jr.
Gates goes on to list the tasks he faced:
I wanted to learn how to be a free Negro and to be a man, how to be in the world and with God, how to question values and traditions without being kicked out of the fold, how to value community and order, family and the group, yet not to have to suppress my uncertainties, doubts, ambivalences in order to be accepted.
Practice: Notice which of the daunting tasks on the list has your name on it. (“Community” bears mine.)
Advanced practice: Act on the task you selected. Start small — these are lifelong tasks, after all — but start.