The real gift of gratitude is that the more grateful you are, the more present you become.
I know meditators who don’t “do” gratitude, and grateful people who aren’t interested in immediacy. They treat meditation as meditation and the present moment as the present moment. Still, I think Holden is on to something.
Practice: Identify which comes more easily to you. Gratitude or presence?
Advanced practice: Commit to connecting the two. When you feel grateful, investigate whether you’re present. When you feel present, intentionally access a sense of gratitude.
Related practices: Trousers, Need
Being compared to men was always higher praise; my youthful priorities were misaligned along multiple axes.
Mine were too. I had been taught that male, white, and dead were synonyms for Excellence. And I bought it. I thought (without thinking) that buying it was the price of admission.
Practice: Identify your synonyms. Is there any reason that Excellence can’t — or has to — look like you?
Related practices: Author’s Statement, Rough Drafts
If you can’t take the first step, take the second.
This makes no sense at all. It also works pretty well.
Even when depleted, I can sometimes do something. Even two or three somethings. Apparently momentum has a logic of its own.
Practice: Start something, anything, that you don’t know how to start. Or start something adjacent. (The principle being that action leads to action.)
Related practices: Need, Tuesday nights
I don’t mind being called a dumb blond because I know I’m not dumb and I know I’m not blond.
Poses have meaning. When you put on a jacket, are you dressing up? Conforming? Wearing drag? Strutting your stuff? Secretly Clark Kent?
Its meaning is in your hands, which means you have options.
Practice: Identify one of your poses. (This may take a while. Once a pose becomes habitual, it feels like who you are.)
Advanced practice: Decide whether it still serves you.
Related practices: Done, Permission
You don’t find the time to make things, you make the time to do things.
This is putting it mildly: You either make the time or you don’t — and which you do defines who you are. Makers make things. Gardeners spend time in the garden. Activists spend time in the community.
Making time for an activity means it matters to you. The reverse is true as well.
Practice: Your choice. Would you rather update your identity or realign your schedule?
Advanced practice: Explore your reasons to hold onto an identity that doesn’t reflect the ways you spend your time.
Related practices: Busy, Busy, Busy, Boredom
Do you allow the world to come to you or do you pounce on it? Are you acting from impatience? Enthusiasm? Anxiety? Eagerness?
Practice: Close your eyes and let your eyeballs rest comfortably in their sockets. This may take a while. (My breathing slows and my shoulders drop before my eyes relax.)
Slowly open your eyes. Notice whether you use your eyes to take in the world or to advance towards it. Or something else entirely.
Noticing what you tend to do allows you to play with alternatives.
Related practices: Loneliness, Perfect
All social issues are temporary and brief. Go deep.
Reading this, I want to say “Huh?” and pretend I don’t understand. But some part of me does understand; something in me knows that confusion is a hiding place.
To learn more about Thurman’s ministry, watch: https://www.pbs.org/video/backs-against-the-wall-the-howard-thurman-story-cgv9gi/
Practice: Replace “all social issues” with content of your own:
My business dilemmas are…
My health problems are. . .
My feelings about . . .
Advanced practice: Identify what gets in the way of you “going deep.”
Related practices: Accordion, Self-attack
Remember: The gods of creativity are not obliged to explain anything to us.
Creativity, like faith or courage, simply is — which suggests taking a naturalist’s approach. Observe without expectation. Avoid sudden moves. Collect data until you have enough to form a theory, then test the theory.
Practice: Do something you hypothesize will lead to creativity. Notice the results. Do something arguably the opposite. Notice the results.
Related practices: Please, Alert Emptiness, Tuesday nights
Simplicity is a sound ambition but in a complex world we should also check for unintended consequences.
Optional soundtrack for this practice: “Simple Gifts” by Cantus
I value simplicity. That said, the status quo is simple. Fearfulness is simple. Passivity is simple. Anything, unexamined, seems simple.
Unconscious bias means people favor those who look like them (gender bias, racial bias) and sound like them (class bias), an unintended consequence. Unless it’s intended.
Practice: Identify a value you hold. Now look where it has led, and whether those consequences are ones you also value.
Related practices: Fresh Peaches, Fluency
All is not well, but today is a good day, good at the personal level and beyond. I even know the steps that led to me feeling good, that is, I can track what led to my current emotions. Treating tracking as a practice and doing it regularly — I feel good; how did I get here? I feel bad; how did I get here? — reduces the odds of getting blindsided.
1)I got an email from a woman in Oakland that read:
Thinking of you and hoping you are safe and feel safe with the awfulness going on in Portland.